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You might wonder how it can be part of healing if it feels like going over the same thing over and over again.
There are many reasons why almost everyone obsesses after being traumatized. Replaying everything over and over is an attempt to integrate the fact that this has really happened to you.
You are trying to reconstruct the history of your relationship.
You are searching among the ruins, sifting through debris, trying to find the pieces you need to rebuild a more accurate story.